Rajeev’s Almanack

Whenever a nation has done something deeply embarrassing, which shames its decent citizens, moral philosophy thrives. As though the obvious atrocity can somehow be hidden behind sophisticated reasonings about abstract thought experiments. Psychologists must have some fancy name for this phenomenon.

We live in such a time now. You cannot open the New Yorker or the New York Times Magazine without running into a conundrum designed by the best and the brightest to teach us lessons on moral values. The difference between us and the ancients is that we look to science, not religion, as the source of our values. Thus, neuro-scientists emerge as the Deep Thinkers of our time. Supposedly their knowledge of how our brain is wired allows them to deduce ab initio what is right and wrong.

One the most fundamental of these puzzles is the Trolley problem. It goes something like this.

On your morning walk, you see a trolley car carrying five passengers. It is hurtling down the track, the conductor slumped over the controls. The passengers are oblivious to the danger. You are standing at a fork in the track and can pull a lever that will divert the trolley onto a spur, saving the five people. Unfortunately, the trolley would then run over a single worker who is laboring on the spur. Is it permissible to throw the switch, killing one man to save five? Almost everyone says “yes.”

But wait a minute. Here is the twist. The single worker is Mr. Average Joe, who is working an extra shift so he can pay off his mother’s hospital bill. You just received a text message identifying the five conscious occupants of the Trolley car as Steven Pinker, Niall Ferguson, Philippa Foot, Judith Jarvis Thomson and Joshua Greene. (You are carrying an iPhone. Duh.) And you have just enough time to Google these names before making the decision.

Now, which way would you throw the switch?

Who is more valuable? Five moral philosophers or an honest working man?

Those with the correct answer will be entered into a raffle for the complete works of Ayn Rand.

I am at my daughter’s birthday party the other day, chatting with the father of one of the girls.

“So, what do you do?”

” I teach at the U. of R.”

“What do you teach?”

“Physics”, expecting his eyes to glaze over.

“Oh, You must be smart”, unexpected response.

“I suppose so.” Not sure how to respond to that.

” So…Do you believe there is someone up there?” pointing to the sky.

“You mean God?”

“No..No way. UFOs man. You think there is someone looking down at us?”

“I don’t know. May be. …I have never seen one”

An analogy is often made between scientific research and exploration. In High Energy Physics, the accelerator physicists are the ship builders, the theoreticians the map makers, phenemenologists the navigators and the experimentalists are the sailors. The spokesman for the experimentalists is the captain of the ship, a dashing figure with power over life and death during the voyage. Ah, if only we were still in this romantic era..

Exploring in Canoes

The mega collaborations of thousands of physicists, that are being formed, are more like aircraft carriers. A good way of projecting power, but a bad instrument for exploration.

“But you can’t go exploring in a canoe”, I am told when I bring up this point.

Actually, you can. Canoes were exactly what the polynesians used to explore and settle the largest ocean on Earth, the Pacific. (more…)

Breaking News….

The crack investigation team set up by General Musharraf to investigate the death of Mrs. Benazir Bhutto has submitted its report. The conclusions might surprise some who made hasty deductions based on a grainy video.

Mrs. Bhutto died from a severe case of indigestion. Having lived abroad for so long, her stomach could no longer handle the spicy food of her homeland. A particularly spicy meal of Naan and Chicken Tikka at Army HQ in Rawalpindi did her in. Other than that, the dinner was a nice affair.

In the videos shown you can see her bending over suddenly with stomach pain. Purely by coincidence a young man in the crowd can be seen raising a revolver and aiming it at her head. The near simultaneity of these two events led most of the world to mistakenly conclude that Mrs. Bhutto was assassinated. The truth is mundane but inescapable.

Unscrupulous elements are trying to take advantage of the confusion. They will be put down mercilessly. The truth has always been on the side of the Glorious Pakistan Army.

Absurdistan Zindabad!

We return to our regularly scheduled program now.

Other Posts on Pakistan

Contrary to popular wisdom it really is the time now to assign blame. It lies squarely with the Pakistani Army and its Commander-in-Chief, Pervez Musharraf. The same army assassinated her father, Zulfikar Bhutto, after a sham trial. The same army has been plundering the country’s wealth and put its judges in jail in the name of security. (more…)

Our publisher has described the origin of his name elsewhere. Interesting names are all around us.

The Roman Catholic Church had a Cardinal named Sin. He was the Archbishop of Manila, (more…)

Other articles on Pakistan
Excerpt from an interview with President Bush by ABC News Nov 2007.

What’s his name has agreed to hold elections in January, and he’s agreed to take his uniform off. Frankly, I think he should do that in the privacy of his own home, but hey, everyone wants the man to take off his own uniform, so lets let him do it anyway he wants. Make sure you cover it live Charlie.

Do you mean Musharraf?

Yeah him. Have trouble remembering his name. General. General something. Hey, he knows how to call me, I don’t need to remember his name. (more…)

The Lincoln of Pakistan

Other posts edited by P. Richard Saunders

Editor’s note I am posting here the full text of my dear friend Mushie’s decree imposing emergency rule. A partial text of the decree has been published before by BBC. I have been able to obtain additional secret parts of the decree as well as Mushie’s own commentary explaining the thinking behind it. A couple of words had to be redacted to preserve good relations with allies. So here goes: (more…)

My friends abroad, I am writing this with joy in my heart. Our long national nightmare is over. Full Democracy has been achieved and Full Justice has triumphed. Extremism in all its forms has been defeated. The humiliation of public servants by the judiciary has been stopped. Our Mission has been Accomplished. (more…)

We were just leaked a white paper on the situation in Pakistan written by up and coming analysts who used to man the South Asia Desk at State. Now they write in a blog named The Washington- Not!. For reasons of modesty they wish to remain anonymous. But they acknowledge the influence of the ponderous and inebriated Malarkey penned by a more senior former State Department official (from whom they hope to get a job some day). (more…)

Read Also Part 1, Part 2

Pakistan is at a turning point. There might be reason to be cautiously optimistic. The Supreme Court has recently (more…)

I need to hurry up and launch my own brand of yoga before the inevitable yoga backlash sets in. It must be distinctive, eye-catching and easily patented. More than a set of exercises. A whole way of life, which will require many accessories. (more…)

Yoga means `union’ in Sanskrit. It could be your union with the universe. Or it can simply mean a meeting, as in a political or cultural gathering. In mathematical texts, yoga means sum. It is a rather common word in all Indian languages descended from Sanskrit.

But in America, Yoga has come to mean a system of physical exercise. It is a mystical and esoteric word. It is also a multi-billion dollar industry, a lifestyle, even a religion in all but name. Twenty million people practice it in the US alone. Like wine for France and pasta for Italy, yoga has become India’s defining export, its brand identity. (more…)

I must confess I never quite got what the phrase `compassionate conservatism’ means. So it was interesting to listen to a three hour long `In Depth’ interview on C-SPAN with a Marvin Olasky. He is the inventor of the idea.
(more…)

Vedaanta is the end of all knowledge. End as in goal, or as in the ultimate kind of knowledge. It is a theory of what knowledge itself is. What practical use could it be? Volumes have been written on how to translate the abstract concepts of Vedanta to every day life. The ultimate authority in `modern times’ (only about a few hundred years ago) is Sankara Acharya. His Vivekachoodaamani and Bhajagovindam are attempts to explain this most abstruse of all branches of classical Indian philosophy to the masses; or at least to laymen.
(more…)