Rajeev’s Almanack

The Lincoln of Pakistan

Other posts edited by P. Richard Saunders

Editor’s note I am posting here the full text of my dear friend Mushie’s decree imposing emergency rule. A partial text of the decree has been published before by BBC. I have been able to obtain additional secret parts of the decree as well as Mushie’s own commentary explaining the thinking behind it. A couple of words had to be redacted to preserve good relations with allies. So here goes:

Secret part of the decree to be leaked only to friendly sources

Whereas a proclamation should sound like a legal document with lots of Whereases especially when it is canceling all laws;

And whereas the pretentious meaningless legalese will fool the simple soldiers who are throwing the judges and lawyers in jail; the worse the writing the better for it shall bamboozle the soldiers all the more;

I order that henceforth all high government officials shall take a course in pidgin legalese; Said course shall include watching excellent practitioners of the English language such as my dear friend redacted the Presdient of redacted .

Whereas it takes great skill to make lawyers respectable, being held in contempt everywhere in the world except in Pakistan;

And whereas I have performed a great service to the legal profession by making them heroes in the eyes of the world;

I award myself the Medal of Freedom in recognition of this service to humanity.

Public Portion of the Decree

Whereas there is visible ascendancy in the activities of extremists and incidents of terrorist attacks, including suicide bombings, IED [improvised explosive device] explosions, rocket firing and bomb explosions and the banding together of some militant groups have taken such activities to an unprecedented level of violent intensity posing a grave threat to the life and property of the citizens of Pakistan;

Whereas there has also been a spate of attacks on state infrastructure and on law enforcement agencies;

Of course I precipitated the crisis by releasing terrorists from jail and cutting secret deals with them. But what else am I to do? I am a mere commando, I can’t figure out the political games these people play.

Whereas some members of the judiciary are working at cross purposes with the executive and legislature in the fight against terrorism and extremism thereby weakening the government and the nation’s resolve diluting the efficacy of its actions to control this menace;

I have already said that the main danger facing this country is rule of law. These judges are extremists. Logic and Reason are more scary to a commando than bombs, it turns out.

Whereas there has been increasing interference by some members of the judiciary in government policy, adversely affecting economic growth, in particular;

Whereas constant interference in executive functions, including but not limited to the control of terrorist activity, economic policy, price controls, downsizing of corporations and urban planning, has weakened the writ of the government; the police force has been completely demoralised and is fast losing its efficacy to fight terrorism and intelligence agencies have been thwarted in their activities and prevented from pursuing terrorists;

I think I will be remembered by history as the leader who has shown the way to end all legal shackles on the executive. In fact I have been giving lessons to many powerful leaders ( guess who?) on how to deal with meddlesome judges. I was young back then, but I only wish President Nixon had asked my advice on how to deal Sirica.

Whereas some hard core militants, extremists, terrorists and suicide bombers, who were arrested and being investigated were ordered to be released. The persons so released have subsequently been involved in heinous terrorist activities, resulting in loss of human life and property. Militants across the country have, thus, been encouraged while law enforcement agencies subdued;

A few bad guys were taken into custody illegally and the judges let them go. Of course, I let hundreds go and gave haven to the worst terrorist of all. But then I do that to defend the honor of the country. When a president does it, it is always good.

Whereas some judges by overstepping the limits of judicial authority have taken over the executive and legislative functions;

Whereas the government is committed to the independence of the judiciary and the rule of law and holds the superior judiciary in high esteem, it is nonetheless of paramount importance that the honourable judges confine the scope of their activity to the judicial function and not assume charge of administration;

Judicial Activism is a big problem in redacted too, I am told by redacted . Now I have the solution.

Whereas an important constitutional institution, the Supreme Judicial Council, has been made entirely irrelevant and non est by a recent order and judges have, thus, made themselves immune from inquiry into their conduct and put themselves beyond accountability;

This is a council I created with the help of extremist Mullahs to circumvent the Judiciary. I thought calling it the `Supreme Judicial Council’ was a nifty piece of obfuscation. George Orwell would be proud.

Whereas the humiliating treatment meted out to government officials by some members of the judiciary on a routine basis during court proceedings has demoralised the civil bureaucracy and senior government functionaries, to avoid being harassed, prefer inaction;

I cannot emphasize this point enough. I have been humiliated. Unlike politicians, we in the army have thin skins. It hurts us when people make fun of us or call us names. I just don’t understand then why they keep doing more and more of it even after I tell them I am sensitive. Its just not fair. Boo Hoo, I am telling Mommy.

Whereas the law and order situation in the country as well as the economy have been adversely affected and trichotomy of powers eroded;

Whereas a situation has thus arisen where the government of the country cannot be carried on in accordance with the constitution and as the constitution provides no solution for this situation, there is no way out except through emergent and extraordinary measures;

I have thought deeply about it. There is no other way.

And whereas the situation has been reviewed in meetings with the prime minister, governors of all four provinces and with the chairman joint chiefs of staff committee, chiefs of the armed forces, vice chief of army staff and corps commanders of the Pakistan army;

All my cronies tell me I am doing the right thing. So there. Rumors that my second-in-command is about to depose me are so untrue. I know because he told me so. I have looked into his eyes and seen his soul. That is a good way for world-leaders to make judgements about each other.

Now, therefore, in pursuance of the deliberations and decisions of the said meetings, I General Pervez Musharraf, Chief of Army Staff, proclaim emergency throughout Pakistan.

I hereby order and proclaim that the constitution of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan shall remain in abeyance.

Note that I am doing this as COAS and not as President.

This proclamation shall come into force at once.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 7th, 2007 at 3:00 pm and is filed under Pakistan, Humor, Politics, General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.